Sending Thank You’s
By Brooke Vaughan Schroeder
While you hear “I have a year to get you a gift” and “I have a year to write you a thank you note,” that’s not what experts are advising.
Every gift you receive (engagement, shower, wedding) requires a personalized thank you note. Cat McAfee, owner of Carte Blanche Specialty Invitations & Gifts, recommends that you write them “as quickly and courteously as humanly possible.” For gifts given prior to the wedding, send thank you notes in less than two weeks. For gifts given at the wedding, you have a month after the honeymoon and a month for gifts received after the wedding. Of course, for larger weddings it may take longer, and guests should understand. But don’t exceed three months, if possible.
McAfee says “everyone wants to be unique,” which is why she suggests the best way to maintain traditional etiquette while expressing your personality is through choosing a different font or paper color stationery. McAfee advises couples to get two sets of stationery, a pre-wedding set of stationery for shower gifts, and a post-wedding set for wedding gifts. Of course, the style of the stationery should match the event.
The shower stationery can be less formal with the bride’s first name or initials, while the wedding stationery should have the new monogram or the formal Mr. and Mrs. Title on it, reannouncing the newly married couple. Since men are sharing in the thank you note writing, perhaps you each want to get a set of your own stationery. In case you were wondering if you both had to write them all, McAfee says thank you notes come from you as a couple but are only written by one. So split them up however you want!
McAfee also offers a few suggestions on writing the thank you notes.
“Try doing a few at a time so that they don’t come across as hurried or insincere,” she advises. “Make them personal and no one-liners!”
In fact, she says you need to do three things: Mention the gift; how it will be used; and add a sweet sentiment, such as “Thank you for attending the wedding,” or “Thank you for your support in marriage.” Also, when given checks, try and be specific about how you plan on using the money.
Just remember: While writing thank you notes may seem like a daunting task, it actually is a wonderful way to remember your wedding and all the special people who took the time and committed the resources to be a part of it.
Photographs by David Wright Photography
