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Advice for the Honor Attendant

Advice for the Honor Attendant



By Brooke Vaughan Schroeder

What a true honor to be selected as the maid or matron of honor for your best friend or sister. With that privilege comes a level of responsibility and an opportunity to be invaluable help and support to the bride throughout the wedding process. Truly you can help as much as you are willing, and the bride will allow, but there are some basic responsibilities all honor attendants should be aware of.

-Help shop for bridesmaids dresses. Shop together or consult by phone, the bride will most likely want your input. As the honor attendant, the bride may wish to distinguish you from the other bridesmaids. This can be done with a different dress, larger bouquet or perhaps a unique gift. Whether you stand out visibly or not, remember that your significance is marked by the ability to help your best friend’s dream wedding go as smoothly as possible.

-Host a shower, tea or party with others. This could be a shower with other bridesmaids or it could be an event the weekend of the wedding with your family.

-Plan the bachelorette party, if there is one, or appoint someone to take over if you can’t be around. Keep in mind that this should reflect the bride’s wishes and not what others may want to do that night. Make it a fun evening that she will enjoy.

-Help coordinate all aspects of planning that involve the bridesmaids: attire purchase and fittings, event attendance, travel coordination, hair and makeup appointments, etc.

-Give a toast at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding reception after the best man. The bride and groom will let you know their preference.

-Help the bride get dressed. The bride may also need assistance later in the evening bustling her train, removing her headpiece or changing into her getaway clothes. A wonderful thing to do is to provide light refreshments (water, soft drinks, cheese and crackers, fruit, etc.) to have while you are getting ready. This ensures that everyone is nourished and well hydrated before the wedding.

-Assist in carrying the flowers, veil, etc. to the site before and after the ceremony. The officiant will instruct you on when to hold the flowers and fix her veil and/or train during the rehearsal.

-Hold the groom’s ring until the officiant asks for it during the ceremony. Sometimes, a designated person may hold onto both rings, usually the best man.

-Sign the marriage certificate as the witness. Sometimes, officiants do this right before the ceremony, but most often it will occur immediately after.

-Be a member of the receiving line, if there is one, and be seated at a place of honor at the reception. The bride and groom will let you know what they decide so you can plan accordingly.

-Most importantly, your job is to be attentive to the bride all day or night. As you will be the one who precedes the bride in the procession, you should be by her side the entire day.

-Be close and provide whatever she needs, whether it’s a hug to say she looks beautiful or a glass of water as she stands in the receiving line. Anticipate her needs and ask her frequently if you can get her anything. Make sure she gets something to eat and drink and enjoys her wedding to the fullest!!!

While you are guaranteed to have a wonderful time, the best way you can fulfill your role as the maid or matron of honor is to serve your best friend during this wonderfully chaotic time. Help with the preparations, planning and emotional stress, but most importantly, be her go-to girl on her big day! Having your best friend by your side, helping you through the process is irreplaceable!


 Photographs by David Wright Photography