I see a little of myself
By Sarah Carlos
I have fallen victim to
Recently there was a 48-hour marathon on TV, and I was hooked. My poor husband, who understands my obsession with modeling and fashion, just played along and watched it with me. Several months ago, I scoffed at the petty show – thought it was a joke and a mockery of poor Tyra. Tyra Banks, a wonderful person and amazing supermodel was suddenly trying to make a new career out of scouting hundreds of scrawny hopefuls in the hopes of turning one into the next “it” girl.
It’s hard to believe that I was once one of those gawky teenagers who thought they were too good to take direction from anyone in the business. Years ago, I was standing in front of Wilhelmina, Elite, Ford, and IMG with the hopes as well of becoming the next “it” girl. (Not that I even knew what that meant at the time, but I definitely wanted to be it!) I passed up Ford and Elite to sign with Eye for I Models, which was perhaps the biggest mistake I ever could have made, but I was living in
What teenage girl wouldn’t say she’d like to be the next top model? I watch their eager faces and know that they haven’t realized it yet. They are too young to know what real confidence is – to truly be comfortable in your own skin. They don’t see the art in their poses and what they’re wearing – they are worried about one another and winning for the sake of winning. And true expression comes with years of experience. I used to wear baggy pants, a wallet chain, and a leather jacket in high school. Was I expressing myself? Sure. Was I old enough to realize what I was trying to say? Definitely NOT. I was a wannabe thug who thought she knew it all.
Today, getting ready everyday is like a fashion show – I love it. Now that I have signed with Wilhelmina and am back into modeling, I appreciate it for what it is and feel blessed because of it. I have found what I want to do with the rest of my life. I always anticipate that awkward silence when I tell people what I do, but you know what? I don’t care. Modeling, and fashion for that matter, is such an amazing outlet for creativity. It’s not about being bony, or having your picture taken, or the clothes and parties, etc. It is about expressing who you really are inside. Playing dress-up, laughing, coming alive. Obviously I don’t feel that everyone should share my passion for fashion. I just ask that you look past the moon boots or stilettos themselves and admire the attitude of the girl strutting in them.
